Rue du Hainaut, Gand
The gold pen is still at Madrid – Rizal will not write for La Solidaridad anymore – What Blumentritt and Rizal are doing, Blumentritt can do alone – Discord among Filipinos – “I have suggested many projects and they engaged in a secret war against me.” – He is withdrawing to leave the field free – He will devote his strength to the native country – Lack of letters from home.
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9 Rue du Hainaut, Gand
9 October 1891
Jose Rizal
My Brother,
I thank you for your esteemed letter; I am not ill, neither has anything happened.
I have nothing more to do with the gold pen. It is still in Madrid. You will certainly receive it later, but at present there seems to be no chance for it.
I thank you for the letter of introduction that my friend Bautista received from you. He is as industrious as he is energetic.
You would like me to write an article for La Solidaridad. Unfortunately, I have to confess that I am not thinking of writing any article again for that periodical. I could have told [you] this before, but I wanted to hide from you the unpleasant attacks against me. Many things occurred between us. You already write, and I am completely in accord with what you write. What Blumentritt and Rizal can do, Blumentritt can do alone. I have suggested many projects; they engaged in a secret war against me. When I tried to make the Filipinos work they called me “idol,” they said that I was a despot, etc. they wrote to Manila twisting facts and they said that I liked this and that, which was not exactly the truth, Through some persons I have learned that before my Filibusterismo had gone to press, they already said that it was worthless and it was very inferior to the Noli. Secretly they are scheming against me here as if they wish to destroy whatever little reputation I may have. I withdraw in order to avoid quarrels. Let the others guide the policy. They said that Rizal is a very difficult person; well Rizal clears out. The obstacles ought not to come from me. It is very possible that they tell you a different story of what happened, but you have a clearer version and you will understand more than you are told. For my part, I shall work faithfully and quietly; I shall devote my strength to the motherland. It does not matter what they may say about me; I have done my duty, I envy no one, I trust God and in the fate of my country.
I don’t know yet exactly whether I have to go to the Philippines or establish myself in Hong Kong. My country lures me, I want to embrace my parents and brothers, but my friends and countrymen are opposed. At any rate, I have to leave Europe. Life here is becoming unbearable for me.
Had I means, I would have gone there in order to embrace you for the last time, for it seems to me that I shall not see you anymore.
My future appears terribly arid to me. It seems that I shall never marry. However, it is not good that man should live alone; God already saw that.
The road from Manila to Vigan is very long and there are many curious employees. Since I have been here, I have received only one letter from home, the others from my brother-in-law were sent to me by him from Manila. Perhaps this is due to the fact that Calamba is a little distant from Manila and the postmaster there is too zealous an employee. May God bless him!
We await your observations, for we cannot have anything published before you have expressed you opinion. Dr. Rost wants to publish something about this in the newspapers. He always asks me for your reply, but I answer him that you are busy with your school and you have no time to work on this.
Rost and Regidor greet you as a friend and as president. I the same, the same, the same.
Greet on my behalf Dr. Czepelack. I wish to get myself a new Caesar family.
I embrace you.
J. Rizal
03-661 [Reformists]