Biarritz
From: Nellie Boustead
To: Jose Rizal
Miss Boustead would like Rizal to embrace Protestantism before agreeing to marry him.
* * *
(Villa) Eliada
Biarritz
April, 1891
MOST ESTEEMED RIZAL,
I was very surprised to receive your letter which happily arrived in the hands of my parents, on the other hand because of the news that you have communicated to me, all of them have simply interpreted all my [words] wrongly!
When they wanted to know what my feelings towards [you] were, I told them that I could not manifest them before knowing whether you have decided to embrace Christianity[1] as I understand it and as it should be understood [by] those who cannot be at least capable of doing good without its [aid and] grace. I know it is difficult to understand, I had the same experience, but it is so easily received if one would only take the trouble of asking in return with conviction because He gives freely. I myself said that they should tell you that I want to wait willingly for some time so that you might study the case with calmness and in solitude without making haste, and on the other hand, because I have promised you fidelity, because I said that it was necessary to wait, because in the end I have continued to be familiar with you in my last letters, to think that I have made of you [a] simple [toy]….You do not understand [me] well then! You are easily carried by the wave; if you could only be more disposed to hear the voice of Him who asks your heart and your service, that would be better for two reasons. For you and for us!
As stated, do you cede? Since I shall ask you not to write me anymore, I shall still give you another opportunity if you would accept it. Ponder well on the requisite which I ask you and would always ask if you end by convincing yourself, then come and we shall explain [in a] loud voice…he who does not want to hear me. Is this then why you want to return to Manila, then forever, I presume! Go [far]! And on the other hand you excuse yourself for having tormented me and you want to do so more than what is necessary.
If I do not express to you my real feelings it is because you do not permit me, because I could not do so until you could have complied with my condition. I have finally finished the basket, Miss Johnson finds it very pretty. I should like to have it better… but you know I am no Hidalgo,[2] I never could pretend to be one! This is all and awaiting that you on your part have understood me better, I am always yours,
Very sincerely,
H
Pardon this hurriedly written
[letter] because I am in a hurry.[3]
02-609 [Blumentritt V.2]
[1] She means Protestantism. She would like Rizal to embrace Protestantism before marrying him. Rizal refused to do so.
[2] That is, the Filipino painter Felix Resurreccion Hidalgo.
[3] The translator was furnished a copy of this letter in English. She has not seen the original.