Villa Eliada, Biarritz
Would like to avoid sharing too much suffering with others – “…if my faith in God had been less, I would have committed a folly.” – No regrets with what he has done because it was his duty – “God could ask me: Why did I not combat the evil and injustice when I saw them?” – But the suffering of so many makes him lose his good humor.
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Villa Eliada, Biarritz
29 March 1891
Jose Rizal
My Brother,
Despite the fact that our correspondence is becoming less frequent, nevertheless the same fraternity that exists between us continues as before! When the heart is heavy, one desires to make flow to another heart some drops of its bitterness, if that can serve as a solace; but when the sorrow is too bitter and too great then one ought to keep it in the innermost of his heart, for why make others suffer? So it happens to me. I know that you always share my sorrows and intimate afflictions but when they are so great that they overflow the soul, for what?
What has happened to my family? When I think of my family, I am overcome by such sorrows that if my faith in God had been less, I would have committed a folly. I am not repenting for having undertaken his campaign. If I were now in the beginning of my life, I would do the same that I have done, because I am sure that I ought to do it, it was the duty of everyone; and God could ask me, why did you not combat the evil and injustice when you saw them? But when I think that all – parents, brothers, friends, and nephews – have to suffer on account of my name, then I feel that I am immensely unfortunate and I lose my good humor. When I find myself alone and I meditate, I ask myself if it is better to be a good relative than a true Christian. When my fiancé[1] abandoned me, I realized that she was right, that I deserved it, but nevertheless my heart was bleeding. Recently I received her letter announcing that soon she would marry. She was always very much solicited by Filipinos and Spaniards. I have also received letters from my countrymen in which they tell me about these sufferings and persecution, saying that they would remain firm and that they do not fear the tyranny of the powerful. At times, I wish that a volcano would erupt in the Philippines and devour all sufferings and injustices so that all of us may be able to sleep the sleep of death!
Our compatriots greet you and trust you, in spite of the friars who make rumors circulate that you have gone over to their side. Our compatriots firmly believe that we – Blumentritt and Rizal – will never abandon them!
I have finished my book.[2] Oh no, I have not written in it my idea of revenge against my enemies but only what is for the good of those who are suffering, for the rights of the Tagalog race, though brown and may not have good features!
Surely I will leave tomorrow for Paris and from there I don’t know where I am going.
I greet you.
Jose Rizal
I received the Globus. Many thanks.
04-608 [Misc.]
[1] Leonor Rivera, who finally ceded herself to her parents’ wishes and married an Englishman named Henry Charles Kipping, a railway engineer.
[2] He refers to El Filibusterismo , the continuation of his Noli me Tangere , which was printed at Gand , Belgium, in September 1891.