20 April 1890

Manila

Manila, 20 April 1890

MY ESTEEMED JOSÉ:

I received your letter of 23rd February. In it you mentioned some very pleasant and at the same time very sad remembrances, for those days were very happy for me, unlike the present.

How sad it is not to have a mother! Especially the mother I have lost. This is the last blow that Destiny can give me, because in reality I have already endured everything endurable.

It is true that she died surrounded by her family and in her own country, but the poor one died weeping, remembering perhaps her sufferings.

You want to know what plans I have for the future. What plans do you wish me to have? To weep continually for this sad life, take care and look after my unfortunate children, stay at our poor home, working and saving something for our future. I have no more aspirations except to see them happy.

I give special attention to Pepito’s education and I hope he will be a good man. For this reason, I try very hard to lead him through the good path. It is now time to correct his little faults so that when he becomes a man, he would be happy and be the prop of my old age.

About Vicentica, as you inquire about her, she lives almost separate from me. She is in the other house with Tia Feliciana, whose house, as you know, is connected with this and we have a common kitchen.

I live on the little rent which my aunts’ will has assigned to me. My mother’s property, as she was not able to make a will, cannot yet be touched until it is definitely divided.

Vicenta continues to be difficult. She does not leave me in peace one moment and gives me a headache with her impertinences and very ugly words, which are not suitable to her position. She bears me ill will and all those who deal with mc. Just imagine if this kind of life is not very sad! I beg you to keep this disclosure of my trouble to yourself.

Your sister Choleng[1] has returned to your house since…last year. She got mad with me on account of a misunderstanding and even tried to take revenge on me and afterwards went to live with your sister María. Since then she has come twice: Once when your grandmother was ill and again after her death. I don’t write her nor she me. You know that I esteemed her and I regret what has happened. Your sister Trining is the one who writes me quite often and in her last letter she said that Choleng was again making trouble and for this reason the old folks were displeased. I don’t know what trouble it is, but it is always about love affairs. That was the cause of her resentment against me.

You are already informed of what happened to…who until now cannot go back home or to her hometown.

At the end of your letter you said that you are returning soon. I would be very glad to see you here, but your return might be fatal. When are you coming? I believe it would be imprudence on your part to come at this time when we are badly off, and they want to do you as much harms as they can. You know your situation better than anybody else; nevertheless, it is my duty to call your attention and tell you to think it over carefully. I believe it is unwise for you to come home nor should you do so while it is like this, for I believe they will work very hard to make you disappear from the picture.

With this letter I’m sending you a group picture of the children, taken recently.

Until now I continue living in this house, but I don’t know if I shall have to get out of it later. In any case, if I change my residence, I’ll let you know, so that when you wish to write me again, you may put the same address.

May you fare well, work hard for this poor country, regards and kisses of the children, and you know your affectionate aunt esteems you.

CONCHA [CONCEPCIÓN LEYBA]

03-522 [Reformists]